When a spouse, parent, sibling or close friend dies, it’s natural to want to tell that individual’s story — to share in obituaries what made the cherished person special and to swap memories on social media. But as you celebrate a loved one’s life and mourn his or her death, take care with what you share, because scammers are paying attention too.
Obituary scams, also known as bereavement scams, typically start with information gleaned from death notices in newspapers or posted online. Criminals harvest facts commonly included in obits — such as the deceased’s birth date, where the person lived and worked, and family members’ names — to start building a profile foridentity theft.
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With just a few key details, criminals can locate and purchase a dead person’s personal data on the dark web, including home address and Social Security number. They use that information toaccess or create financial accounts, take out loans, obtain health care or filephony tax returns(and claim bogus refunds) under the deceased’s name — a form of ID theft dubbed ghosting.
Or they’ll weave what they’ve learned about a recent death intoimpostor scamstargeting a surviving spouse or other family member. Criminals posing as government officials, debt collectors or insurance agents try to pry loose more personal data about the deceased, or solicit payment for a supposedly unpaid bill, unclaimed benefit or lapsed policy.
Some bereavement scams are more involved, and they can get personal. Obit-scouring criminals pretend to be long-lost friends or relatives of the deceased, contacting surviving spouses out of the blue to commiserate and reminisce. These displays of simulated compassion can evolve intoromance scamsor attempts to defraud beneficiaries out of inheritance money.
FAQs
A common scam after the loss of a loved one, often referred to as “ghosting,” is when an identity thief uses personal information obtained from an obituary to assume the identity of a deceased individual.
What information should you never include in an obituary? ›
A Fitting—and Safe—Tribute
Protect your loved one's identity even after they pass by avoiding using too many specific details in their obituary. Consider only using the first names of relatives, for instance. Or mention their military service but not their regiment number or other details.
What are obit thieves? ›
The criminals note the address and the date and time of the funeral or memorial service. Then, while all of the family is out of the house attending the services, they sneak in and steal whatever they can get their hands on. Another type of crime is the scam.
Why would someone not want an obituary? ›
Reasons a Family Might Not Want to Write an Obituary
Some may feel that it is too personal or private to share with the public, while others may not have the financial means to pay for its publication. Additionally, some families may prefer to grieve privately and not draw attention to the death.
What not to put in obituaries? ›
Common Mistakes to Avoid when Writing an Obituary
- Avoid Making the Obituary About You. ...
- Don't Focus Just on Death. ...
- Listing People Who Were Appreciated. ...
- Avoid Clichés. ...
- Abbreviations. ...
- Don't Over Describe the Funeral.
When you begin writing the obituary, try to omit details that could be used for identity theft including:
- Deceased's date and place of birth, middle name, maiden name, mother's maiden name or employment history and home address.
- Personal information of the surviving relatives.
Criminals look for personal details in obituaries, funeral homes, hospitals, stolen death certificates, and websites online to commit identity fraud. Thieves can use the personal information of the deceased to help guess their Social Security number or purchase it online.
Do you mention ex wife in obit? ›
It can include, or exclude, anything the family wishes. Dear Abby: Here in the South, an ex-spouse is often listed this way: "Jane Doe of Memphis, Tenn., is the mother of his children." The primary reason is so the children feel their surviving parent, and the years their parents spent together, are acknowledged.
Why do obituaries lie? ›
Obituary writers sometimes deliberately distort the truth in their stories. False obituaries are written for many reasons: concealing a divorce, excluding children from another marriage, exaggerating a deceased's accomplishments, or excluding certain relatives.
Why do people put obituaries in the paper? ›
Sharing Your Loss with The Community
An obituary is an explicit way of telling the local community that your loved one has died. It maximizes the audience of people who know or had a connection with the deceased. An obituary is still the preferred way of finding out the local residents who have died.
These studies have shown that both the victims and the family members showed significant psychological disturbances, corresponding to a chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), in the victims, and a pattern of anxiety and depression in their family members.
What happens if no one writes an obituary? ›
Obituaries are not required by law , so the deceased's family might have chosen to forego publishing one. Publishing an obituary can be expensive , and the funds may be unavailable. The deceased has few family members or friends , so there might have, unfortunately, been no need for an obituary.
What is the largest obituary website? ›
The Web site hosts obituaries and memorials for more than 70 percent of all U.S. deaths. Legacy.com hosts obituaries for more than three-quarters of the 100 largest newspapers in the U.S., by circulation.
How do you honor a loved one without a funeral? ›
11 Ideas for Memorializing Deceased Loved Ones
- Turn their ashes into a cremation diamond. ...
- Visit their final resting place. ...
- Do something they enjoyed or you did together. ...
- Have a memorial release with balloons or butterflies. ...
- Listen to their favorite songs or watch their favorite movies.
In general, it's best to avoid leaving out essential family members‚ even if they're estranged. This could cause hurt feelings.
Should you include your birthdate in an obituary? ›
Your birth date. This helps prevent identity theft. However, if you are going to ask a professional to write an obituary, the date of birth should be provided to the writer to help determine age at date of death and whether certain milestones have been achieved.
What is the proper way to list family members in an obituary? ›
The order should go as followed: spouse, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents, and siblings. It should be noted that nieces, nephews, cousins, and in-laws are typically unmentioned unless they were especially close to the deceased.
What are things that can be included in an obituary? ›
Obituary Guidelines
- Date of birth.
- Place of birth.
- Names of parents.
- Childhood: siblings, stories, schools, friends.
- Marriage(s): date of, place, name of spouse.
- Education: school, university or other.
- Designations, awards, and other recognition.
- Employment: jobs, activities, promotions, union activities.
